I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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