i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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