Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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