I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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