We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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