Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
