You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
