Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
