Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
