I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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