i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
