So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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