so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
