Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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