Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
