just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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