I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
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If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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