Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
