Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
