You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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