u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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