i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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