She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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