So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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