I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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