Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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