Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
