so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
