what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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