dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
