I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Alive.
So much puke
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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