can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
