Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
me + whiskey = a bad person
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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