Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
you never un-have a 4some
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
