If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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