I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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