No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
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You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
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I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
And then the night went full on bisexual.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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