Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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