You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
