she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Randomize
