I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
