I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My feet surprised me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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