He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
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his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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