i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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