he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
