We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
foreskin is a definite game changer
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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