just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
