Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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