so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
