I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
