Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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