At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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