I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
