Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
