"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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