I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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