bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
the raccoons are back...
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