Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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